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The Best Ad for a Restaurant Server Ever
Haan Palcu-Chang
March 20, 2023
G’day,
We’ve all heard the stories of how hard it is to find workers for restaurants these days. People have been running away from the hospitality industry for the past two or three years looking for greener pastures.
And all the power to them; if they can find better working conditions and a better life in some other industry, that’s great.
But this new reality doesn’t change the fact it’s hard out there for restaurant owners, who are left with a smaller and smaller pool of people to fill constantly vacant positions.
A recent ad by a restaurant owner in Palm Springs has encapsulated this frustration in gloriously sarcastic fashion.
Critics will tell you this ad is “insane” and evidence of a restaurant culture that demands too much of its employees. To us, it just sounds like a small business owner having fun with a job posting while highlighting some of the real staffing challenges they face running their restaurant.
Read it and let us know what you think.
Most of the ad is pretty generic, but it’s this middle part that really had us howling:
PLEASE DO NOT APPLY IF YOU:
Have no sense of humor or can't handle skillful sarcasm. Have no alarm clock, oversleep, have a cell phone battery that dies constantly preventing you from contacting us, have to give friends rides to work later than we start work, call in sick or with an excuse because you partied too hard the night before your shift, experience flat tires EVERY week, and suddenly become deathly ill on Coachella and Splash House weekends. You will not last if you want to score social points with the cute patron by giving away food and beverages on our dime, with our inventory. Do not apply if you'll need nights off because your grandma poisoned you with her ham (again) or your band has a gig or you need weekends off because your favorite roller derby team made it to the finals, its ski season, you "accidentally" got on a plane to Vegas, you haven't surfed in a while, you have a headache after going to too many garage sales, you woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it, you've been at the casino all night but still have money to play with, you ordered a take-out that is late and you have to be home to accept/pay for it, you've locked yourself in the house by mistake and there are no windows to crawl out of or you want to work a few weeks before you go on your "European" vacation.
We are a team-oriented environment, so you need to work well as part of a team. Please steer clear if you lean into drama like tendencies as our team is not willing to join your circus and manage your flying monkeys. Last but not least, big egos, grumpy introverts, reactive and bad attitudes and individuals unable to accept the fact that you get PAID to WORK - need NOT apply.
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